Why Homeschooling Needs Dad
The Power of Persistent Fatherly Presence
While there are many ways to homeschool, most homeschooling takes place within a traditional family arrangement (working father, stay-at-home mother). This is common sense. Fundamentally, homeschooling requires two things: that children be at home and have an adult to teach them. Generally, the parent who stays home is the mother. Consequently, much homeschooling content, products, and services are oriented toward mothers. We might say that the homeschooling environment is mother-centric.
Given this, it’s easy to overlook the quiet, steady influence of a father’s role in the home. Yet, as Catholic families striving to live out God’s design for marriage and parenthood, we know that the family is the domestic church (CCC 1658)—and dad plays an irreplaceable part in its foundation. A recent study from the University of Michigan sheds new light on this truth, underscoring why a father’s consistent presence and involvement matter profoundly, especially as children navigate adolescence.
The Father’s Persistent Availability
The research, drawing on the long-term Future of Families and Child Wellbeing Study, was authored by Garrett Pace, Joyce Lee, Kaitlin Ward, and Olivia Chang and involved nearly 3,000 diverse fathers across the U.S. The study sought to explore what fostered closeness between fathers and their children from early childhood through late adolescence. The findings are straightforward and unsurprising. Children who live under the same roof as their fathers—particularly in those crucial later childhood and pre-teen years—report stronger, more enduring bonds during adolescence. This held true regardless of whether the parents were married, though the stability of marital cohabitation proved the strongest predictor.
But there is more to bonding than physical presence alone. The study highlights the value of consistent parenting from dads. Examples of consistent parenting include everyday interactions such as talking openly with children, helping with homework, showing genuine interest in their lives, and being reliably available for guidance. Lead author Garrett Pace, an assistant professor at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas, said, “These everyday interactions, especially in later childhood, are key to developing lasting closeness.” In other words, it’s the accumulation of small interactions—dinner table conversations, shared chores, or working through a tough math problem together—that nurtures the father-child relationship. It is the consistent availability and the persistent nurturing presence that make all the difference.
Within the Catholic homeschooling household, fathers have a unique opportunity to step into this role. Whether it’s leading family prayers, discussing history over breakfast, or coaching a teen through a challenging science project, homeschooling presents scores of situations in which this persistent bonding can be nurtured.
Practical Ways Homeschool Dads Can Foster Lasting Closeness
To bring this home (literally), here are some practical tips for dads to foster closeness with their children in a homeschooling environment:
- Daily Check-Ins: Set aside time each evening for one-on-one talks or “check-ins” with children. This need not be much. It can be a simple “What did you work on in school today?” or “How was work?” Or it can be something a little more formal, such as sharing a short Scripture reflection or praying a decade of the Rosary together. The important thing is that there is some time for one-on-one engagement. Consistency here builds trust.
- Shared Learning Adventures: While moms typically handle much of the nuts and bolts of homeschooling, fathers should take the initiative to dive into those subjects! Whether it’s exploring Church history, building a physics experiment, or debating philosophy, your enthusiasm shows interest and creates shared memories. And it reinforces the idea of homeschooling as something the parents do together, not just something mom does.
- Modeling Service: Even if dad’s work schedule does not permit him to take the lead in teaching a subject, he can still lead in other ways, such as modeling works of mercy. Involve teens in family service projects—visiting the elderly, helping at parish events, or simple household responsibilities. Leading by example teaches perseverance and builds closeness through teamwork.
- Fun and Play Without Distractions: Some of my favorite childhood memories were roughhousing with my dad, and my kids love it when I engage in horseplay with them. Never miss an opportunity to roughhouse with younger ones. With older kids, play strategy games, take nature walks, or find other little moments to recreate together.
- Seek Holiness: When dads look to the saints as models of fatherhood, it helps cultivate the balance between strength and tenderness that is so desirable in men. Study the lives of saintly fathers like Louis Martin, Thomas More, and, of course, St. Joseph. Becoming a model of piety will also inspire your children to see fatherhood as a path to holiness.
Conclusion
Homeschooling often appears mother-led, but it thrives best when fathers remain present, engaged, and intentional. The research confirms what the Church has long taught: children need dads to show up consistently in ordinary moments. In the Catholic homeschool, a father’s steady availability—through prayer, conversation, work, and play—helps form not only educated children, but confident, rooted, and faithful adults.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Join other homeschooling parents and me in the Homeschool Connections Facebook Group or in the HSC Community to continue the conversation.
