My Husband Doesn’t Want Me to Homeschool
5 Steps to Bring Your Spouse Onboard with Homeschooling
When I first began my homeschool journey, my husband wasn’t entirely on the same page. In fact, he wasn’t even in the same book. We’d attend open houses every summer, dutifully touring private and charter schools and discussing options. Yet, each year, I found myself more strongly committed to homeschooling. Finally, after another round of open houses, upon his insistence, I said to my husband, “Look, if you want to put them into Catholic school, you need to take ownership of it. You’ll need to drive them to and from school, help with homework, attend PTA meetings, etc.” He looked at me and replied, “Does it mean that much to you?” I only wrote a book on it! I got back to homeschooling that fall, and neither of us ever looked back.
I know many moms in a similar position who feel called to homeschool but are unsure how to bring their husbands on board. If that’s you, I’d like to offer a roadmap. It’s not magic, and it requires time, patience, and prayer, but these five steps can help you and your spouse thoughtfully consider homeschooling as a family decision.
Step 1: Pray Together for Guidance
Before diving into debates or logistics, start with prayer. Ask God to guide you both toward clarity and unity. If possible, go to Adoration together. There’s something about sitting quietly in the presence of the Eucharist that softens hearts and opens minds. Be specific in your prayers. Ask for wisdom and alignment of your desires with God’s plan. Most importantly, both of you need to be open to the answer.
Step 2: Open a Respectful Dialogue
Once you’ve prayed, have an honest conversation. Share your reasons for wanting to homeschool, but also take time to listen to your husband’s concerns. Resist the urge to interrupt or dismiss his points. Instead, ask thoughtful questions to understand his perspective better.
When my husband and I had this conversation, I came prepared. I had thought through how homeschooling would impact our family dynamics, finances, and my household responsibilities. I had answers ready for questions like, “Who will handle the teaching?” “How will we afford this?” “What about socialization?” and “What’s the plan if it doesn’t work?”
A clear plan showed my husband I was serious and had carefully considered the logistics. It also helped him see that homeschooling wasn’t just a passing whim.
Step 3: Research and Present Facts
Facts can be powerful. Research homeschooling success stories, especially within the Catholic community. Show how homeschooling can provide an excellent education and nurture your children’s faith.
We were particularly encouraged when we connected with local homeschool families. Meeting dads who had once been hesitant but now fully supported homeschooling helped to us see the potential benefits. The struggles these families shared also helped us prepare for challenges, making the idea of homeschooling feel more grounded and realistic.
Step 4: Involve a Faith-Based Perspective
As Catholics, we believe parents are the primary educators of their children. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2223) emphasizes this responsibility. You can remind your spouse of this, not as a guilt trip, but as a way to frame homeschooling within the broader context of our faith.
Also, discuss whether your current school truly supports your family’s Catholic values. If not, consider seeking advice from your parish priest or joining a Catholic homeschool support group. Hearing perspectives from other Catholic families can reassure you and your spouse.
Step 5: Propose a Trial Period
A trial period can make homeschooling feel less overwhelming. I suggest committing to one year with specific goals and evaluation criteria. This approach will give you and your spouse a sense of control and allow you to test the waters without feeling locked in forever.
At the end of that year, sit down and reevaluate. Spoiler alert: in my case, we stuck with homeschooling. But even if we hadn’t, the trial period gave us both peace of mind that we were making an informed decision.
Reevaluating annually also keeps the process manageable. It’s less scary to say, “Let’s do this for a year and see how it goes,” than to commit to homeschooling indefinitely. I’ve always taken homeschooling “one year at a time.” Personally, saying, “I plan to homeschool for the next 20 years” is just too overwhelming.
Trust God and Take the Leap
Homeschooling isn’t for every family, but the rewards can be incredible for those called to it. It strengthens family bonds, nurtures faith, and provides an education tailored to your children’s needs.
If you’re considering homeschooling but your spouse hesitates, I encourage you to start with prayer and respectful dialogue. Equip yourself with research and connect with other homeschooling families. Most importantly, trust that God will guide you both.
For Further Resources, Check Out:
HSLDA: Legal support and resources
NHERI: Research on homeschooling success
Homeschool Connections Blog and Podcast: Inspiration and advice
Homeschool Connections Classes: Professional, Catholic support for academics
And remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Whether homeschooling becomes your path or not, trust that God has a beautiful plan for your family.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Join me and other homeschooling parents at our Homeschool Connections Community or our Facebook group to continue the discussion!
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