Helping Children Find God in Their Day: A Simple Family Examen
Children are wonderful observers. They notice small things, such as when the first fireflies appear in the yard. They always remember which grandparent keeps cookies in the cupboard, and they can spot a favorite toy that’s been moved only a few inches.
What they don’t always recognize—or at least do not fully identify without instruction—is that God is present in the ordinary moments of their day.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is not simply teaching them to pray at certain times, but also teaching them to notice that God has been walking with them all through their day. That is the heart of a beautiful prayer tradition known as the Examen.
The Examen is a surprisingly simple, yet powerful prayer practice. It isn’t about examining our conscience with a magnifying glass or searching for every mistake we’ve made. Instead, it is about learning to look back over the day with God, almost like watching the highlights of a movie together. The goal is awareness.
Looking Back with God
Children spend much of their day moving quickly from one activity to the next.
After school, they jump to homework. Then they have sports/music/etc. practice. Then time for chores, dinner, and they also need to keep relationships with God, family, and friends at the forefront. By bedtime, many days can feel like a blur. The Examen gently slows things down. Instead of asking, “Was I good today?” it asks a much richer question:
“Where was God today?”
That simple shift changes everything. Children begin discovering that God isn’t only present during Mass or bedtime prayers, but during playtime, difficult conversations, moments of joy, at the dinner table, and even on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon. Saint Ignatius advised that this is the one prayer we should never skip. Let’s look at how to make it accessible for all ages.
Five Gentle Questions
The Examen doesn’t need to be complicated. With younger children, it can become a short conversation before bed. You might simply ask:
What made you smile today?
Joy often helps us recognize God’s gifts. A funny moment, a kind teacher, a successful science experiment, or a game of catch can all become moments of gratitude.
What was difficult today?
Children carry disappointments that adults sometimes aren’t aware of. Maybe a friend ignored them, or they struggled with math. Naming those moments reminds children they never carry them alone.
Did anyone show you kindness today?
This question helps children recognize that God’s love is often expressed through other people. Maybe a friend shared ice cream with them, or a sibling apologized for hurting them. A coach could have offered them a word of encouragement. These become reminders that grace often arrives through ordinary acts of love.
Did you help someone today?
This is crucial because children discover that they, too, can become part of God’s work. Maybe they held a door for someone, or comforted a person who was sad. They could have helped set the table or stood up for someone who wasn’t being treated well. These simple acts reveal that following Jesus happens in everyday choices.
What would you like to tell God before you go to sleep?
This allows the conversation to end naturally. Some nights it will be “Thank You.” Other nights it may simply be, “Please help me tomorrow.” These are beautiful prayers.
Looking for Grace, Not Perfection
One of the dangers children can face is believing that God spends His day keeping score, but the Examen tells a different story. It teaches children that God is a loving Father who delights in walking through life with them.
Of course we acknowledge where we fell short, and we ask for forgiveness when we need it. But those moments are held within something much larger: God’s constant presence and unfailing love.
Children who practice this way of praying often begin noticing grace even before they sit down to pray the examen. They start recognizing moments of grace while they’re happening. They remember to thank God in the middle of a beautiful sunset, they see Him in their neighbor, and they begin seeing ordinary life with new eyes.
Forming Hearts That Pay Attention
Many things compete for our children’s attention. Notifications and schedules. Entertainment and so many different types of noise. The Examen gently trains a different habit: giving attention to God.
This isn’t because He suddenly appears at the end of the day during this prayer, but because He has been there all along. Perhaps that is the greatest lesson the Examen offers: Every day is not perfect, but every day—ordinary, joyful, difficult, or routine—is a place where God can be found. And once children begin looking for Him there, they often discover He has been looking for them all along.
What are your thoughts on this topic? I invite you to join other homeschooling parents and me in the Homeschool Connections Community or our Facebook group.
