“Come Away to A Lonely Place”: Rediscovering Solitude
Tuning Out to Tune In: What Scripture and the Saints Say About Solitude
In the New Testament Book of Hebrews, we are told that some of the holiest individuals in salvation history devoted considerable time to avoiding the company of people, preferring to devote time to God in solitude, “wandering over deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth” (Heb. 11:38). This is a common theme in Sacred Scripture. Those who seek holiness must be comfortable with solitude, for it is only in silence, away from the company of others, that we can adequately examine our own inner life and cultivate the kind of quiet spirit that is necessary to hear God.
Alone, but Never Quiet: Modern “Solitude” and Digital Noise
This is an important lesson to keep before our eyes in the digital age, where we are seldom truly “alone.”
For most of us, we are always connected—even when we are physically alone. Whether you’re sitting in a doctor’s office, taking a walk, or relaxing on the couch, the phone is usually in hand. Through our phones, we remain continuously plugged into the digital world and barraged by its endless noise and distractions. This should prompt us to reevaluate the quality of our alone time. Even when physically alone, are we truly disconnecting if we’re still being flooded by news, distractions, and online chatter?
The Roman moralist Senece wrote, “A wise man once said, ‘As often as I have been among men, I have returned a lesser man'” (Epist. VII). It’s a very true statement! The more time we devote to taking in the noise of society, the less grounded we are in our own thoughts, opinions, and feelings. The more engaged we are with the chatter of the world, the likelier we are to define ourselves by the boorish public discourse—and the likelier we are to be carried away by the fads and passions of the masses. The public mind is fickle. Think of how quickly the people of Jerusalem went from “Hosanna to the son of David” to “Crucify him!” Letting oneself get too carried away in the public discourse is perhaps the surest way to lose one’s inner peace.
Christ Modeled Silence—Why Don’t We?
But what does Jesus teach us? “And he said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat” (Mark 6:31). What an interesting passage! Jesus tells the disciples that they need to make time to rest in “a lonely place” because “many were coming and going.” We need to deliberately detach ourselves from the hustle and bustle of society in order to “rest awhile.”
This rest is not merely physical, but spiritual—it is the rest of God that promises His people through which we possess the “peace that passes all understanding (cf. Heb. 4:10-11, Php. 4:7). Christ Himself modeled this for us, frequently taking time out of His busy public ministry to spend time alone with God: “And in the morning, a great while before day, he rose and went out to a lonely place, and there he prayed” (Mark 1:35). If Christ were here today, do you think He would be taking his smartphone with Him and keeping abreast of the news headlines while he was going out to the lonely place?
In The Imitation of Christ, Thomas à Kempis says, “it is easier to remain quiet at home than to keep due watch over ourselves in public” (Imitation, 20). The 17th-century philosopher Blaise Pascal made a similar observation in his famous work Pensées:
When I have occasionally set myself to consider the different distractions of men, the pains and perils to which they expose themselves at court or in war, whence arise so many quarrels, passions, bold and often bad ventures, etc., I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber. (Pensées, 169)
The Restless Soul and the War Against Distraction
Pascal suggests that most societal problems stem from people being restless and uncomfortable with themselves. They seek distraction from the external world because they don’t know how to find happiness wtithin themselves. He goes on to say:
Thus passes away all man’s life. Men seek rest in a struggle against difficulties; and when they have conquered these, rest becomes insufferable. For we think either of the misfortunes we have or of those which threaten us. And even if we should see ourselves sufficiently sheltered on all sides, weariness of its own accord would not fail to arise from the depths of the heart wherein it has its natural roots and to fill the mind with its poison. (ibid)
This is what is at the heart of our obsession with staying connected. Sure, we may make various excuses for it—”I need to stay informed!”—but really, the issue is that we feel restless and adrift without constantly plugging into the public discourse. It is an addiction that we would do well to break.
When to Turn It Off: Detaching from the News Cycle
In the spirit of Seneca, Thomas à Kempis, and Christ Himself, may I humbly suggest you consider detaching yourself, particularly from the constant news cycle? It does little but fill the mind with anxiety about things that are beyond one’s control. Does constant monitoring of news sites help you observe Christ’s precept to “not be anxious for tomorrow”? (Matt. 6:34) Truth be told, the 24-hour news cycle is deliberately calculated to make us angry. You don’t need to be continuously in the loop. When someone prefaces a statement about the news with “unless you’ve been living under a stone,” be content to be that person living under a stone. The world will go on as it always has—people buying and selling, marrying and being given in marriage, sowing and reaping, killing and making peace—and we are all quite inconsequential in the big scheme of it all.
What Really Matters in the End
God does not think as we think. On the Day of Judgment, He will not ask us how informed we are, or whether we had the right take on some current event, or if we had sufficiently virtue-signalled our support or opposition to something on our social media profiles. He will judge our hearts by the quality of our love. If the news is making you frustrated, angry, upset, or anxious, tune it out. Spend more time outside in the beauty of nature. Read more books. Sit in your sunroom listening to smooth jazz while you watch the clouds pass by. Go to Adoration. You do not have to be as connected as you think you do, especially if it is robbing you of your peace.
So whatever is going on in the world, don’t neglect our Lord’s precept to “come away to a lonely place.” It will be better for you and for everyone.
What are some of your thoughts on this topic? Join me and other homeschooling parents in the Homeschool Connections Facebook Group or in the HSC Community. I’d love to continue this conversation with you there.
