Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in Catholic Homeschooling
Neurodiversity and New Wineskins: “Be Not Afraid!”
Understanding Neurodiversity: A New Perspective on “Special Needs”
“Neurodiversity” is a buzzword these days, which covers a wide range of what we are more used to calling special needs and learning disabilities, most frequently in terms of autism spectrum and ADHD diagnoses, but also including dyslexia, dysgraphia and other related conditions. It is not intended to sugarcoat the difficulties of having any of these diagnoses. Instead, it emphasizes that differences in perception, processing, and expression naturally occur in the human population and have their own place, intention, and function in God’s design for the world and His Kingdom.
With this shift comes new possibilities for homeschooling families. It brings a more human and holistic understanding of these diagnoses. We now see that empathy—once thought to be lacking in autistic people—is actually incredibly intense among those on the spectrum. This empathy is a two-way, dynamic invitation, helping each of us support one another’s needs, both visible and invisible.
Moving Beyond Traditional Approaches to Autism
Humanity has long been missing from best practices, especially those prescribed for autistic children, without much regard for their inner worlds. The old paradigms train autistic kids to follow social scripts and norms, which make them presumably less autistic over time. We know now that this is not the case. Autism is a lifelong, hard-wired way of being – a variation of human expression – and not a set of problematic behaviors to be trained and corrected. To this end, Dr. Damian Milton refers to autism as “nature’s answer to over-conformity.”
The neurodiversity mindset recognizes that behavioral interventions alone do not consider the reasons autistic people act, think, and communicate differently. More recent research, including data reported directly by autistic people, reveals that the autistic neurological system takes in vast amounts of information simultaneously. It takes an autistic person longer to process, ponder, assimilate, and respond to what is seen and heard. Bright lights, background noise, room temperature, and performance pressure (among many other sensory factors) quickly drive the processing load to capacity. Without modifications or extra time to keep up, overload is reached, and processing shuts down.
By comparison, people with regular (i.e., neurotypical) perceptions might take in one or two things at a time and automatically bypass or discard most of the background information rather than seeking to make sense of it. If we imagine every person running on a rechargeable battery, neurodivergent systems run two to three times as many processes as neurotypical systems, yet with the same capacity battery. A neurodivergent battery needs more frequent recharging and may run hot – or malfunction – if kept continuously running.
The High Cost of Conformity and Masking
The old wine of applying behavioral methods to conform to societal standards turns out to have very few long-term benefits. Exceptional (i.e., neurodivergent) children can be taught to compete academically and excel alongside their typical college-bound peers. And even to mimic the social graces we attribute to “successful” and “well-rounded” people. But – we are now learning that such training comes at a very high cost. The rate of autistic burnout is exceptionally high among high-achieving neurodivergent people.
Teaching neurodivergent children to conform to neurotypical standards asks them to deny a core part of themselves for the sake of being accepted. We see this in sitcom plots where characters misrepresent themselves or stretch the truth, only to find that lying can snowball and take on a life of its own. In reality, keeping up appearances is exhausting work – and erodes our sense of self, if not our very humanity. Neurological burnout is a very real and frightening consequence of masking, as many families are unfortunately beginning to see. The fear of our children falling behind or not reaching their potential can tempt us to redouble our efforts to push them to keep pace with their neurotypical peers – without seeing that we are only pouring more stale wine into wineskins already spent beyond their capacity.
Shifting to the Neurodiversity Mindset in Catholic Homeschooling
How, then, do we shift to the new wine of the neurodiversity mindset? Where do we find new wineskins when all we have been shown are the old ones? Most importantly, how do we trust that this new wine is good, especially when it looks so drastically different from everything we have done up to now?
Let’s take this one question at a time.
1) How do we shift to a neurodiversity mindset?
Start by learning what that means. There are numerous resources online and in print. I’ve listed some for you at the end of this post. Ideally, resources produced by people who are themselves neurodivergent and have been recently published should be sought out. The same diligence used in researching any topic applies here in that some sources are not fully aligned with our Catholic worldview but will nonetheless contain relevant factual information.
2) Where do we find new wineskins?
Short answer: Custom-make them for your family!
This is a golden opportunity to embrace and model a growth mindset. If possible, involve neurodivergent family members directly in your own learning process as you become more familiar with the neurodiversity mindset. Get their take on the resources you find (after you’ve vetted them, of course). See what resonates for them and determine which suggestions they feel would be helpful. Collaborate in developing new strategies together. Be curious, creative, and willing to learn from each other about how each of you perceives and processes the world.
3) How do we trust this new wine is good?
As a homeschooling mom who has been there, I can vouch that it is a leap of faith to step away from techniques we’ve been taught that are the gold standard, whether in terms of academics, character formation, or social correctness. I promise: the neurodiversity mindset is not a complete departure from all we’ve known. However, it does balance behavioral correction with humanity and empathy, which are lacking in purely behavioral techniques.
For instance, most of us think it’s a good idea to prepare exceptional kids for “the real world.” In bare terms, this requires constant and rigorous conditioning to perform under the pressures of time, competition, and the demands of meeting expectations. Neurodivergent people are not physically wired to thrive under these conditions. Asking our neurodivergent family members to do so requires them to suppress their needs, feelings, and vulnerabilities (in other words, the things that connect us with our humanity). This is not sustainable. In fact, it’s harmful to the health.
Furthermore, habitual masking damages our spiritual life, partly from the cognitive dissonance between being taught to compromise our needs for the sake of appearances and achievement and being told, on the other hand, that we are beautifully and wonderfully made exactly as we are. If the world does not accept our authentic selves, how can God?
Aligning with God’s Vision of Individuality
Looking at any “best practices,” we need to ask critically if they abide by standards of worldly success or are more in line with God’s standards. As we are reminded in 1 Samuel 16:7, “God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The LORD looks into the heart.” Rooted in our faith, it becomes easier to see where the old wine is based on false promises. We need not fear embracing techniques that support the full spectrum of our humanity, embracing both the fragility and the unique and unrepeatable magnificence of each individual – even if it feels like risking everything to start out on this new path. Jesus repeatedly assures us we can let go of our fear when we follow Him. God is always with us. Be not afraid!
Further Reading and Resources on Neurodiversity
An excellent summary and guide for integrating all of the above into school and homeschool settings is “The NeuroWild Shift” – a 49-page packet (with parent discount) on Teachers Pay Teachers. The same author also has many other valuable resources on this page, including a free neurodiversity-affirming IEP goal bank.
Books
Henderson, Donna; White, Jamell; and Wayland, Sarah. Is This Autism?
Kotowicz, Annie. What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic
Fisher, Dr. Naomi; and Fricker, Eliza. When The Naughty Step Makes Things Worse
Marble, John; Chabria, Khushboo; and Jayaraman, Ranga. Neurodiversity for Dummies
Online Resources on Masking
Navigating Autism and Masking: Embracing Individuality as a Parent
The Impact of Masking – A Parent’s Perspective
The Cost and Privilege of Autistic Authenticity
Understanding Autistic Masking in the Workplace
The Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire: Online self-assessment for autistic masking
Masking Infographic Packet by NeuroWild (Teachers Pay Teachers, $6.00)
Embracing Neurodiversity with Faith, Compassion, and Courage
Embracing the neurodiversity mindset allows Catholic homeschooling families to honor each child’s unique, God-given identity. Shifting our approach fosters a home where everyone is fully accepted and supported. Rooted in faith, we can let go of fear and nurture our children’s minds with confidence, trusting in God’s love and guidance every step of the way.
What are your thoughts on this topic? You are invited to join other Catholic homeschooling parents at our Homeschool Connections Community or our Facebook group to continue the discussion!
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